tomorrow is a new day

finally, today is my last day of holiday
i had planned to finish both my dumex obstetric and gynaecology but ended up doing nothing but sleep and eat
tomorrow is a new day for me because i will enroll in a totally unfamiliar posting---obstetric and gynaecology
hopefully i can cope with this new challenge
because i was frightened by my friends that this is the hardest and tiring posting

lousy server

i was living a life without internet for 4 days
since last Thursday the server here was down
it was so lousy
i was so angry with it
luckily it was fixed today, if not i would go to complain again

confusing

FROM SIN CHEW:
蔡細歷：須完成6大醫系
醫生實習期延長至2年
updated:2007-11-22 10:20:34 MYT

（布城訊）衛生部長拿督斯里蔡細歷週三（11月21日）說，內閣已同意從明年開始，將實習醫生的1年實習期延長至2年，再加上強制在政府醫院服務的3年，剛畢業醫生為政府服務的期限將由目前的4年增至5年。

他說，實習醫生必須完成6大醫系包括內科、外科、兒科、骨科、婦產科和緊急醫療平均4個月的訓練，以便能增強其知識和經驗，並有助於提高醫療素質。

他是在出席每週內閣會議後，在部門宣佈這項消息。

他說，由於近年來，在現有每年畢業的1200名醫學系學生中，有3至5%的實習醫生無法順利註冊成為醫生，因此，政府才決定延長實習期。

私立大學也須遵守

他說，這項限定並非限制政府大學而已，私立大學的醫科畢業生也必須遵守這項規定，他也相信人民會給予支持。

他說，隨著這項決定，衛生部將要求政府把實習醫生第2年開始的薪金從目前的U41調至U43，其薪金差距是500令吉。

他說，醫護和科學人員的服務制度已獲改善，醫生的制度也應當獲得改善。

他也說，有意繼續深造，考取碩士醫藥專科文憑的醫生在完成兩年的實習，並成功獲准註冊為正式醫生後，就能提出申請。

他說，現在的情況是實習醫生在完成1年實習後，必須為政府服務完3年後才能申請繼續深造。 （星洲日報•2007.11.22）

http://www.sinchew.com.my/content.phtml?sec=1&artid=200711213076





FROM THE STAR:

Move to make sure all doctors have required skills

By AUDREY EDWARDS

PUTRAJAYA: Newly-qualified doctors will have to undergo two years' compulsory housemanship from next year.

Currently, they only have to do a year of housemanship.

Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek, who announced the Cabinet decision yesterday, said the move was considered important to increase the knowledge, skills and experience of graduate medical officers.

“This will improve the quality of services and healthcare standards,” he said.

A rotation system of four months in six departments will be implemented. With the newest inclusion being the accident and emergency department, the rest are medical, paediatric, general surgery, orthopaedic, obstetrics and gynaecology.

“We have observed that in the past few years, about three to five per cent of graduate medical officers do not get full registration because they have weaknesses in knowledge or skills,” he told reporters before chairing his ministry’s post-Cabinet meeting.

“We cannot let this continue. We hope the move is seen as a positive one by future graduates and we are confident the rakyat (people) will support us.”

After the two-year housemanship, the doctors would have to serve their three years' compulsory service with the Government or its agencies, he said.

Dr Chua said the ministry would apply to the Government to place them under the U43 grade upon completing the two years' housemanship compared to the current U41. The U43 pay scale is RM500 more than U41.

He said the doctors would be able to pursue their specialist courses or Master’s after serving two years' compulsory service compared to the current situation whereby they can only apply to further their studies after three years.

About 1,200 local medical students graduate annually.

Dr Chua also announced the Cabinet’s decision to disallow the future setting up of private cord blood banks because while it was a new service with huge potential to treat specific diseases, there were still ethical issues to be scrutinised.

He said the existing centres would have to apply for a licence from the ministry within the next two months and would be registered under the Private Healthcare Facilities and Services Act 1998.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/11/22/nation/19545463&sec=nation&focus=1



i am really confused with the articles from this two local newspaper (sin chew and the star)
which one is the truth????
please note the above article which is in italic and highlighted with red colour
so whether we can enroll in master programme after the housemanship or after the compulsory service?????

damn it

NST Online » NewsBreak

2007/11/21

Now, two-year housemanship for medical graduates

PUTRAJAYA, WED:

The government has doubled to two years the period of housemanship for medical graduates beginning next year.

Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr Chua Soi Lek said today the Cabinet agreed to the extension in the belief that it would enable the medical graduates to garner more knowledge, skills and experience.

The two years will cover four-month training stints each in the medical, paediatrics, general surgery, orthopaedics, gynaecology, and emergency fields.

The longer period of housemanship would benefit the people by way of upgrading of healthcare, Dr Chua told reporters at his office here.

Malaysia’s public and private institutions of higher learning produce about 1,200 medical graduates annually.






the above is article extracted from NST
damn it, not fair
then my dream to become a cardiothoracic surgeon has to extend half more year
some more have to work like hell as a houseman for 2 years but underpaid

A positive thought

when you worry and hurry through your day,
it is like an unopened gift.......thrown away........

life is not a race, take it slower
hear the music before the song is over

life is not a party we hope for......
but while we are here, we might as well dance

The 7 Ups

1. WAKE UP!!!
Decide to have a good day.

2. DRESS UP!!!
The best way to dress up is to puyt on a smile,
A smile a an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

3. SHUT UP!!!
Say nice things and learn to listen.
With two ears and one mouth........it's meant for us to do twice as much listening.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul"

4. STAND UP!!!
......for what you believe in.
Stand up for something...........or you will fall for anything.

5. LOOK UP!!!
Keep yourself centered.
Remember you are important.

6. REACH UP!!!
......for something higher.
Trust with all your heart,
and lean not unto your own understanding.

7. LIFT UP!!!
.......your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING"

hahaha!!!!!!!!

i am so happy today
my room finally can online
i can download anything unlimited
hahaha!!!!!!!!!!
besides that, i have completed both my case write ups today
so, i decide to give myself a holiday today------doing nothing
actually i have not been touching my books since 2 weeks ago coz busy with my long case assessment and case write ups
so, after today i must catch up with my study again

busy......busy.....busy

finally got some time to update my blog
it's been a long time since i last wrote something
still busy with the same thing---
long case assessment, case write up and to complete my log book
i think i did quite well for my long case assessment this time
coz i really prepare my case with a lot of hard work
i cannot afford to lose any marks
coz higher marks will help me to get higher grade
then only i can have some 'face'.......hahaha

i am facing a problem with my case write up
my patient has been staying in the ward for 2 weeks but still no diagnosis is made
i am really frustrated coz without the patient being discharged, i cannot start on doing the discharge summary, mocks prescription and PPD component
then i'll not be able to complete my case write up in time

let's hope for the best
hope things will get better sooner or later

If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

在悲伤的对岸上，据说存在着微笑
好不容易到达那里，似乎有什么在等待著我
并不是为了要逃离，而是为了要追寻梦想


所以我绝对不再逃避，
这样的话有天我一定能面对。

haih.....holiday again

just finished my end semester holiday
now have another holiday again
not bad to have holiday in once a while
it gives myself a chance to recharge
but too frequent a holiday will only make myself lazy
before the holiday i promise myself to at least finish study one surgery book
but until now i haven't flip a single page
i almost become a couch potato, everyday starring at the TV screen

come on.......wake up...........
tomorrow is a new day
it's the time for me to say goodbye to couch potato
my new day resolution---flip at least one page of book---hahahaha................!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah.....i passed my exam

finally the result of my last semester had been announced last thursday
and i passed both my internal medicine and medicine & society posting
i was happy but no mood to celebrate because many of my friends failed in their medicine & society posting
77 failed out of 119 for this posting
the fail rate is almost 70%, so terrible
luckily i passed all and make me one step closer in realizing my dream
hopefully all of my friends can pass their resitting paper
coz i don't want to lose them

人不可以活在过去，只要活在当下就好

a rushing holiday

finally my exam finished on last Tuesday
and i think i did quite well
thank God...........
then i have a holiday for one week plus
i really fully utilized my limited holiday
i visited many places including muar, johor bahru and singapore

muar is quite a nice town
i just went there for 1 day, so it was really rush for me to explore this wonderful town
however i was managed to taste some of the famous food in muar like otak-otak, tanjong rojak, red bean ice, and fried carrot cake (tam jiak gui)

johor bahru is nothing special just like KL which is full of highways, shopping malls and robberies
i would like to thanks lawrence and his family who treated me with great hospitality

the journey in singapore was really exciting
i was attracted to this wonderful island and maybe someday i will choose to start my career there
i stayed in singapore for 4 days and i think i had covered almost every corner of singapore
singapore gives me a feeling of safe and clean
thanks to my friend---chong hong, he brought me to every tourist's attraction in singapore
we even went for a food hunt in singapore
we hunted for the top 10 must eat food in singapore
they were so hard to be found and we just managed to find 4 out of 10
i swear to taste them all in my next visit.........hahaha

farewell with my buddy

yesterday i went to midvalley to meet with zhemin
this was our last meeting before he flies to england to do his master programme in accountancy & finance
our next meeting is an unknown date coz he planned to start his career there
he is still the same crazy smart guy since i met him in standard 6
we have been knowing each other for more than 10 years
we start to get closer during form 4 & we spend a lot of time together in study & discussion
he always has a lot of weird questions in his mind
but i think this is the quality he has that make him so special and excellent
i wish him best of luck & i believe he can excel in life

exciting blog

my friend had launched a new blog which is focusing mainly on social & politics issues in Malaysia
i was invited to be the administrator & editor too
hope u guys can give some support in this new blog which is so meaningful to us
hope this blog can give some input to all you guys in the politics' progression in our country
feel free to post any comment to us
the website is http://malaysianpolitics.com/
there is a link to this website in my blog

cannot wait anymore

finally my second last paper had over this morning
i cannot wait for my last paper to come which is on next tuesday
it is a new type of exam which i had never experience before
we call it as short case wnere we have to come out with the diagnosis by just examining the real patient in 10 minutes
quite challenging for me but i think it shouldn't be any problem for me coz i am quite hardworking in going to the ward to practice my physical examination
reason for i am eagerly waiting it to over is i am planning to visit my friends in singapore and JB
so excited..........hahaha
my best friend--zhemin is leaving for England soon to do his master proggramme there
i wish him all the best
i am sure i will miss him a lot

yahoooo!!!!!!!

finally my long case assessment had overed
i want to give myself a holiday today
no more books for today
still have 2 more weeks before my final exam
i think there is ample time for preparation
so, don't care first
let's enjoy first..........hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
don't want go to ward so early tomorrow..........hehehe

stress

exam is around the corner
really very stress
but the actual date havn't decided yet
that's why make me worry

meaningful day

yesterday i went to a charity center in imbi as a vonluteer
this was organised by 'tzu chi'
they were running a free medical treatment for people from Myanmar
these people came to Malaysia illegally and will be caught by the policve anytime
but yet they took the risk to come to our proggramme
actually i was quite busy doing my case write up last weekend
but i did not feel that my time was wasted there
i was quite happy coz had the chance to help people although i had to burn the midnight oil to complete my report
after seeing the condition of these illegal foreigners
i started to feel that we should contented with what we have
coz we are much luckier than them
at least we do not have to leave our own family and home

y my face look so puffy?

i dunno why my face look so puffy in the photo
actually the original photo is not like that
but every time i upload a photo, it will become like that
i tried many many times already
but eventually it will end up like this
i give up liao

taiwan....i am coming

i will be having a 2 months holiday in the end of February 2008
i am hoping to do my elective posting in taiwan for one month
i must start to study hard from now on
so that i can pass all my postings in third year
then i will not be repeating my posting during the holiday
hehe.......taiwan is one of the place that i am dying to go to
coz taiwan is a paradise for someone who loves to eat like me

wonderful weekend

this weekend my friend came to pay me a visit
i had a wonderful time with him
i really happy went out with him
i brought him to some of the famous places in KL like 'eye on malaysia'
but due to limited time we cannot go many places
hope he still felt that the journey is enjoyable
if he is visiting me again next time, i would plan a better journey for him

case write up

finally i manage to spare some time to update my blog
haih......too busy recently
tiring of clerking patients
ask until i am dehydrated
i want to find a suitable patient for my case write up
the deadline in 13th of august------less than 2 weeks
so many patients in the medical ward but i just couldn't find a suitable one
some are too complicated while others are too simple
hope to find one by today
good luck to myself

five simple rules to be happy

my friend once told me about the 5 simple rules to be happy
i would like to share them with you too
hope you can put some thoughts on them

1. Free your heart from hatred
2. Free your mind from worries
3. Live simply
4. Give more
5. Demand less, expect miracles in life

No one can go back and make a brand new start,
Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending..

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain,
but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit
but you will enjoy the smooth road afterwards.
Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want,
just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you..

When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means.

There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.

You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved; the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love,
than to lose the one you love because of pride.

We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give.

Never abandon an old friend. You will never find one who can take his place. Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older.

food in hukm

haih.........food in HUKM is terrible
no variety at all
everyday have to eat the same thing
is either nasi lemak or mee rojak
these are the only 'eatable' things to me

the happiest thing is during the weekend
bcoz i can eat outside with my friends
we have the same interest, we like to eat delicious food
we always explore to try on new restaurant and new food

i just bought a book on popular food guide recently
i hope i can try all the food inside that book
but by that time, my belly sure will increase by twofold

'sien'

at first i was excited about life in HUKM
but day after day i feel all the things happen around me has become a routine
may be i was adapted to the life here
but i don't like my life to be dull
i like excitements
i need to make my life more interesting

lonesome nite

tonight is a lonesome night
actually every night is the same to me since i broke up
but tonight i feel more lonely than any others night
this is the second night after i decided to let go
may be the first night i was drunk so i didn't feel so lonely

i worked very hard for the past 6 months
i did anything for her
i already did whatever i could
i already did my best
i had changed, changed to what she hope for last time
but it is useless now
coz what she wants now is not what she wanted last time

nothing i can do now except to let go
that is what she wants now
she said this will make both of us happier
i don't know whether i will be happier but i know she will

she had let someone else to occupy her heart not long ago
there is no place for me anymore
the place that used to be mine had changed its owner
but i was reluctant to believe it
i keep on trying harder and harder hoping for a miracle to happen
but the reality is so cruel
it keeps on letting me down
i cannot stand the suffering anymore
i am going to burst one day

is he so excellent compare to me?
is he treating u better than me?
why u give him the chance but not me
u know i always dying for the chance
just one last chance
but it is too late for now
u already make the decision
my dream disappear

u know how hard for me to let go??
u know how suffer i am to make that decision??
but i will still do it
this is the one last thing i will do for u---to let go of u
i don't know whether i can really let go coz i really love u so much
let the time be my medicine

hope u and him can live happily ever after
if he dares to bully u, i will never forgive him

2 weeks in medical ward

haih...........2 weeks passed
my medicine posting still left with 6 weeks
then i have to sit for my final exam
but i still wondering around and do not care
our badge is different from our senior
bcoz we are in the new curriculum
seniors have their final exam after each posting
unlike them, we have to sit for exam of two posting together
really stress

in the first week in medical ward, i thought medicine posting quite free
coz most of the time we are wondering around the ward, chit chatting with the patients, help the h/o (houseman) doing some procedures
my mentor (an endocrinologist) was not around for the first week
so all my bedside teaching was canceled
i have no pressure at all in the first week

but when she came back in the second week
it was a disaster
everyone of my group was scolded
then only we realized that there are so many things we don't know
coz we cannot answer most of her questions

worst still i was the first person to present a long case
that was my first time, i really nervous
i learned history taking long time ago
but when i performed, i still did many mistakes
i forgot to ask many important question when clerking the patient
then when i presented my physical examination findings, she was not satisfied as well
i really need to improve

anyway she is a very good mentor although she is very strict
i am amazed by her knowledge in medicine
i am sure i will learn a lot under her guidance

is doctor a good job?

i think for many people, they will say being a doctor is something to be proud of
many parents hope to send their children into the medical school
but i can tell u, to become a doctor is really not easy
and being a doctor is also not something very grand
actually i am a bit regret for choosing ths field
but it is too late for me to change anything

y i say like that?
i don't mean i don't like this field
but medical life is really very hectic
many sacrifices have to make

many of my friends had graduated and working now
i am so jeolous lah........coz they can earn thier own money
but i am still in 3rd year and still have to depend on my parents

doctor is really not so great
to become a doctor u have to study more and longer than any other courses
after graduated then have to work for the government and get very little pay
it is also a high risk job coz u can die or get infected anytime

anyway i will still do my best
coz there is something that only can be obtained from this job
and that is the satisfaction of saving people

Interesting maths

I got these interesting equations from a friend. Quite funny reading them but some are very true indeed. Hope u enjoy too.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
_____________________________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

internal medicine posting

today is my forth day in the medicine posting
finally i can catch up with the pace in medical ward

thinking back the first few days i was in medical ward
i was as if in the lost world
wondering with no direction
and doing nothing in the ward
this may be due partly to my mentor is off for 1 week

actually this posting quite tough
i am quite worry now bcoz 1 week is going to pass
but i still not making any progress
there are so many requirements for this posting
for instance we have to clerk the patients and write case reports
and have to do many procedures like venepuncture and venous blood taking
we also have to observe some complicated procedures like bone marrow aspiration and trephine biopsy
so far i don't even complete 10% of them

life in hukm is really tiring
i have to wake up at 6 something every morning and by 7am we have to reach the medical ward
actually we are required to stay in the ward until 5pm
but usually at around 3pm i will run away
haha.........

the hospital is so huge
i will be sweating nonstop by just walking around the hospital
in the second day my legs 'jau' cannot 'tahan' 'liao'

in the first 3 days i was trying to take blood from the patients
maybe i was too nervous, no matter how hard i tried, the blood just won't come out
i was so frustrated
i was so scare that the patients and their relatives will scold me bcoz i pop so many holes in the patients' arm
luckily, after so many times of failure, i succeeded to withdraw blood from 2 patients this morning
i am so proud of myself
finally i manage to grasp the skill of punching people
hehehe.............

so my final words to my readers 'never give up until u meet your goal'

last day in hometown

today is my last holiday in my hometown
tomorrow i will be going back to HUKM in cheras
this time i am going back alone
sigh........
coz last time we always go back KL or teluk intan together

i think after today, i will not going back to my hometown again for a long time
the soonest i think is after my medicine posting
actually not because i am busy
but is because i feel very lonely in my hometown
at least i have friends in KL who will accompany me whenever i am down

i really miss her very much
i am dying to win her heart back
i am so stupid to disappoint her last time
it was all my fault
i will never do the same mistake again
i hope she can forgive me and start a new life with me
(sounds like impossible but i will never give up)

my holiday

my 1 week holiday is going to end soon
actually still got only 2 days
as expected, my holiday is dull
coz most of my friends are not around
some studying in oversea and some working
but luckily still got one is around

his name is choon hua
but i used to call him 'zua' (means snake in hokkien)
he studies the same course as me
haha.......another doctor
but not the same country
his university is in Ukraine
i wish to visit him coz he promise to bring me go around europe
haih......but now i got no money

after my holiday, i am going to start a new medical life
coz this time my posting is situated in hukm
then i have the chance to experience life in hospital
a bit excited coz can see patient everyday

fluctuating emotion

this evening i go jogging alone from my house to her house (quite far)
i start to like jogging during my posting at tanjong karang
actually i am forced to jog
coz there are no other suitable forms of exercise for me
my friends all play football
at first i join them also
but something terrible happened
i accidentally kicked my friend's head until he was admitted into the hospital
then i dare not play again

actually i was planning to give her a surprise
but unfortunately she was not in
i was quite disappointed and had no choice but to go home
but then on my way back to my house, i met her
such a coincidence
i was really happy

haih.....but my happiness does not last long
coz just now i read her blog and i found out something that make my heart breaks
i won't blame her
no matter what she did, she is still the most important person to me

to vivien

i was sorry about the previous blog writing about u
maybe i was wrong
u do not have any feeling on me anymore

i was quite sad yesterday after u said u want to let go everything and start a new relationship
i know what u said is true coz this situation sure will happen eventually
it's just the matter of time

i want to tell u that what i said yesterday are all coming out from my heart
no one can replace u in my heart
i know u won't believe me
i will let the time to prove everything

i just hope u won't treat me like stranger
please don't keep a distance from me
u can just treat me as a normal friend
and let me help u whenever and whatever i can

melaka trip

i just came back to teluk intan yesterday
i went to melaka last friday as a gift to myself
my ex-roommate is so kind to let me stay in his house
i would like to say thank you to him that he sacrifices his time to take me here and there

actually i went to melaka before a few times
but this time i really look deep into the fantasy of melaka
melaka is a paradice
thanks to my friend that bcoz of him i had the chance to taste all the famous food in melaka
the food i like most is the nyonya cushine especially the asam fish and rendang chicken
their taste is so special
besides that he also brought me through every single corner of melaka

i really enjoy my trip in melaka
i also enjoy the time with his family especially his little brother
they are very nice

end of my posting

finally my posting at tanjong karang had ended
i must admit that the time pass so fast
before i realize, half of my semester has passed
still got 3 more postings to go before i end my third year
i must prepare myself to face the coming challenge-----medicine posting-----the toughest posting
but i know myself very well,
i won't do any reading during my holiday
coz i am too lazy
haha......haha........
but i am quite comfortable with my learning style
play hard, study hard, and rest hard
so just let me enjoy my 1 week holiday

Surprise

Finally after few weeks of loss of contact, I called her out of blue last night
We had a very very long conversation
We talk for nearly four and a half hours
This is the longest conversation with her through phone I ever had

I was surprise that she said she still have feeling on me
But I don’t know whether is true
Bcoz no matter how I beg her, she still insisted her decision

I was happy to hear her voice
I miss her so much

Why?

i was turned down by her again yesterday
i am so sad
actually i was turned down by her endless times already ever since she decided to end this relationship
i already get used to upset

it's already 5 months pass since we separated
she treat me so cool lately
i don't know why i still have feeling on her
the feeling is so strong
i couldn't believe that i love her so deep

i really don't know what is her thinking
why she choose to be single rather than giving me a last chance
maybe she is not single now
but i don't know

sorry to those reading my blog
coz i keep on writing about her
maybe by writing about her i can feel that she is just right beside me
haha.......i think i am going insane

how are u recently?

u really want to know how i feel about u?
u really think v r happier now?
may be it is true for u
but i never felt happier
my happiest time is the time with u
i just make myself very very busy so that i don't have time to think of u
but it never work

u think i want to be enemy with u?
i never want to be enemy with anyone, especially with u
i never want to stop chatting with u
u know how sad i am when i do so
i just don't want to get hurt
every time i chat with u since we breakup,i felt down
coz i don't know how to pretend to chat with u as a friend
i don't want just be friend
i still love u

every night i am wondering how r u now
but i am afraid to call u or sms u
coz i dunno how u felt about me

i miss u very very much
i really really miss u
i just want to let u know--i still love u as before, more than before

i don't know whether u will read my blog again
i know u will not happy with what i wrote
but trust me, i don't mean to affect yr life
i just want to express my feeling
i think this is a better way for us to converse

last weekend i went back to teluk intan
but i am so afraid to meet u
actually i really hope to reconcile with u
but i am so scare to be rejected again
i don't want to get hurt
i don't want to cry anymore

i love you
plz dun angry with what i wrote
i will bless u always

boring day

finally my presentation on hazard survey has over
and all my reports have been completed this afternoon
suddenly i don't know what to do

may be it's time for me to do some reading
coz next week we will sit for our viva
but i don't have any mood to study
i want to do something to reward myself
may be watch a movie or eat some chocolate
but there is no cinema in tanjong karang
there are so many movies i'm dying to watch

today i feel so boring
coz many of my friends still busy with their reports
no one free to entertain me
if in last time, i still got my girlfriend to entertain me
i'm sick of being alone

may be i need to find more friends to fill my time
or do something i haven't done before to make my life more interesting

i miss my mum
i miss my dad
i miss my home
i miss my bed
i miss my little brother
i miss my friends that haven't met for long time
i miss her also
i am so grateful that there is someone i can miss

relief

finally i had completed most of my reports
i am so relief
but there are still some haven't completed
i must keep on working
almost 2 weeks i didn't get enough sleep already
every night work until at least 3.30am only sleep
sometimes even up to 5.00am

the time past so fast
still got 2 more weeks to go
my posting is coming to the end
but there are countless reports waiting for me
but i am quite happy
coz by keeping myself very busy, i won't think of something unhappy

i am a bit lost now
coz i don't know what to do on the coming holidays
i don't like holidays
coz when i am free, i will keep on thinking of her
i must find something to do
something that makes me really really busy

i am lost

I am lost…….i am lost………I am lost…….

I don’t know what to do now

She told me very clearly that she won’t accept me again

Y I still want to be so stubborn??????

Hoping miracles will happen on me

Many tell me tat I will find some1 better than her but juz the time havn’t come

Am I going to find some1 better???????

Is the right girl will show up??????

I asked myself many times………I don’t know

I juz know she is still the best in my heart

I don’t know y I feel like tat although I said she has changed so much tat I don’t even know her anymore

Every time I told her tat she will find some1 better than me and I will bless her if she really finds her Mr. Right

But what I said do not go along with what I felt

My heart pain, really pain as if stabbed by thousands of swords

Coz what I really want to tell her is I hope I am her Mr. Right

But everything is too late

Coz she loves me no more

Y she wanted to end this relationship???

R v really not suitable????tat's wat she told me.......

i dun agree but nothing can be done now

3 years of relationship ended with nothing…………..

I am sad…………

i know she has her new life now

i also want to find my new life

i want to find my goals in life

medicine & society posting

i enter my 3rd year of medical life in may 2007
i know many of my frens stil in their 2nd year holiday
but wat can i say,tis is ukm medic---a weird course---alwaz wan to be different

actually i really enjoy studying medic
medical life is so interesting
so many challenges
the satisfaction i get from saving people really amazing tat couldn't get from any other jobs
this job is really meant for me

there are 4 posting waiting for me in my 3rd year
1st i hav to go to medicine & society posting, then follow by internal medicine, surgery and O&G

let's talk about my 1st posting-------medicine & society
this is the best posting amongst the 4
coz i really felt tat i still in holiday during tis posting

the duration of tis posting is 8 weeks
now is the 6th week-------stil hav 3 more weeks to go
the time pass so fast
it seems like i juz started my posting yesterday

wat so interesting about tis posting???????
haha,there are so many
the most important 1 is it is located at tanjong karang---a peaceful small town between kuala selangor and sekinchan
so no need to scare to get scolded by the doctors in hukm
i very pity my frens in hukm..........hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

another exciting event is the coconut here is so cheap
1 coconut only cost RM1.30
v drink at least 1 coconut everyday in tanjong karang
drink until v so close wif the boss
everytime oso get discount and free coconuts
i had tried many many types of coconut
hav u heard about kelapa pandan, kelapa gading, kelapa mawar, kalapa puyuh................so many
the best coconut is the kelapa pandan tua
its juice is exactly like 100plus

another unforgettable thing here is the seafood
the seafood in sekinchan & kuala selangor is so cheap
i bcom so fat now
i think it is the time for to lose weight liao
i ate the most delicious food here but oso ate the worst thing here
can u believe i ate rat??????
dun believe??????u better believe
still not believe????????hahaha.....go c my friendster,i got put some evidence there

i can say after this posting i will bcom a coconut and seafood specialist
hehe.......

let's talk something about my posting
actually my posting is very busy but i duno y i am so free
maybe bcoz there are too many works to do, but i duno wat to do, so better dun do

v hav to go hospital tanjong karang, health clinic, rural clinic and PKD(pejabat kesihatan daerah kuala selangor) to c how the organisation works
then hav to write reports........so sien........i hate write reports

the most heavy work v hav to do is to do a general survey, a specific survey and a health programme on the orang kampung in tanjong karang
tis include 3 kampung---600 houses
but v only hav 59 people
really work like hell
my car oso spoilt bcoz of the bad road condition in kampng

forgot to mention, the hostel here is the best hostel i ever seen
it is fully equip wif air-con & wifi
it is more like a hotel than a hostel
i am sure i wil miss tis place
except 1 thing----there are too many cats here----they are every where
i hate cats

after the remaining 3 weeks,i hav to enter the internal medicine posting
it is the most difficult posting
by tat time i wont hav time to sleep coz v hav to oncall
haih......tis is the life of a doc
i hav to accept it
so wat i can do now is to enjoy the rest of tis posting to the fullness

the most 'yi han' thing to me now is i can no more share my joy and happiness wif my love one
i lose my only support in life
it is all my fault
i deserve the consequences
i can blame no one except myself

do i know love?

what is love actually????.............could someone tells me?????

1 month......2 month..........3 month..........4 month...........
i couldn't believe i had been broken up with her for more than 4 months
i couldn't believe how i get through this 4 months
i just knew i suffer everyday
i know she suffers too when she chooses to end
if time can reverse i hope v still can together
but i know is impossible


i just couldn't let her go
she means so much to me
i really don't know she is so important to me until she left me
i won't blame her coz i know i didn't appreciate her last time
i didn't make her feel secure
i would do the same thing if i were her
losing her is my biggest lost in my life
no one can replace her in my heart


i tried very hard to win her heart back...............but i just can't fulfill her requirement
maybe what she wants now is not what she wants before
she really changed a lot after v broke up
the current her is a stranger to me
maybe this is the true her
it just she sacrificed so much for me last time until she became someone not herself
i felt that she is happier being her true self


should i still love someone who doesn't love me anymore?????
some said true love doesn't hope for any return
some said not worth
what should i do??????????
should i let go?????????
i still miss her a lot
am i stupid???????
hoping something impossible to happen

i don't know, i really don't know
i will just follow my heart.....................

i don't mind live under her shadow
as long as i feel happy